Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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