so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
