I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We need to rekindle our bromance
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
