therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
