She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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