I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
