it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
