New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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