In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
