You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
