Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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