we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
