You just made me feel so damn special
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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