You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
