Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
