Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The struggles of a small town man whore
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
