what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize