we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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