she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
