Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
