I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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