I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
