actually, I'm a sock model
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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