I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
