Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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