he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
