Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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