KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
