eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
