What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
