so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is wine microwaveable?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
