NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
