I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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