Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
