she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
