On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
