she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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