how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
