If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
BRING THE BAGELS
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
