he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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