Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
