we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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