What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
