stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
