somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
