Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
