big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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