dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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