i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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