Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
