The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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