You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
